Why you can’t get off the Trauma Survival Spiral?
Here is the thing about development trauma…..developmental trauma is established in the first 3 years of life, yet who out there remembers their first 3 years of life?
The experts also say developmental trauma is “invisible” to adults; they are unable to provide comfort and soothing relief to the child’s symptoms- because they CAN’T see it.
At the same time, trauma seems like the big PINK elephant in the room, with not many people understanding how to treat it.
Stress symptoms range from PTSD, depression, anxiety, learning problems, social disorders and chronic physical health problems.
Little T Traumas are created by life events which generated fear, humiliation, and confusion with overwhelming panic. Big T Trauma is mostly reserved for the war stories, rape victim, sexual abuse, and natural disasters.
However, trauma seems everywhere and impairs us more than we can imagine…..trauma blocks connection, sets up rigid systems, dulls experience, destroys trust, organizes destructive behaviors, recreates trauma bonding and can reduce life expectancy by 20 years!
I always say, I could trauma bond with anything: food, my phone, sex, money, email, work, relationships, parenting, grocery stores, television……..the list goes on and on.
So what is it like for people who suffer from trauma?
Well, we tend to have trouble sleeping, completing goals, and organizing appropriately. We embody avoidant or obsessive natures. We exhibit an inability to connect with our desires. We can distrust the world and can be self-destructive, constantly irritable, hostile, and/or hypervigilant…
Basically organize withdrawn isolated survival states of living or chaotic ones. Our mindsets tend to be constructive of one so these: abandonment mindsets, disorganized mindsets, poverty mindsets and victim mindsets.
We create these small, isolated lives to attempt control over the horrible trauma triggering world.
Our trauma brains convince us it is easier to be small, to barely survive every month with food, water and shelter rather than join the bigger world and potentially experience Trauma Triggers!
Subconsciously we avoid life and just SURVIVE, confusing this state as some form of relief, or even worse recovery.
Trauma triggers are like living in quick sand, the actual ground below feels like it is devouring your life.
When I had previously entered a trauma triggered state, my husband would always say, “Please don’t go down the rabbit hole.”
My former response, “I am SO much deeper than a rabbit hole. I am in some subterranean mantel territory of the earth! Once I get myself to a rabbit hole, I will be in good shape.”
For me, it is NO LONGER an option to live just surviving the trauma. I have learned how to intervene in trauma triggers to build a trauma free life!
I am a sober woman of 21 years who has worked decades to better understand these horrible suffocating trauma bonding experiences: how to stabilize them, untangle them and build a life while breaking their vicious cycle.
I have learned to bring myself to accomplishing, visibility, earning, loving, having sex, building a community and gathering A VOICE to house my needs, wants and desires in meaningful ways. I help my clients do the same.
If you would like to hear how I Untangled My Trauma Thinking around Vulnerability and activated a New Thought Selection process: CLICK HERE
Angela McKinney, Mindset Coach & Lifestyle Expert, inspires bravery in her clients by helping convert suffering survival states into ones of meaning. Angela is a creative force who is truly passionate about empowering people to get out of hiding and claim a new experience with life. She is an artist, entrepreneur, wife, mother of 2 boys and lover of her life’s work! To learn more about the Angela McKinney and Untangle and Thrive CLICK HERE.