Untangling Desired States is an art form!
Teasing out desired states is critical for those suffering from binge and anorexic cycles with food, drugs, sex and earning.
If people have blown themselves up around their desires (gambling, addiction, sex, overeating) organizing a healthy mindset with desires becomes essential.
Desired states hold incredible energy. The can create excitement but can drive us into shame and humiliation. Our association with desires can often become tainted and dirty.
Our hidden associations with desires hold great opportunities for us to organize a new mindset that drives meaningful connection.
Here is my take....
Learning to untangle desired states from love states opens up massive opportunities to rediscover sexual connection, relationships, self-care, eating and earning.
Love states are consistent, predictable and safe. When desired states override these foundational principals we can live a life of Chaos, Confusion, and Paralysis.
Activating a mindset that integrates love and safety is the first step in learning to reorganize our desires in new ways.
I have witnessed over and over....
Many people are terrified of ravenous engulfing desires so they will will grab starvation cycles believing this is a fix to the problem. This starvation cycle can set up another binge. Things can get very confusing here for many people.
We need a practice of asking thought provoking questions which dig deep and claim new meaning in our relationship with desires. This is a critical step if we want to integrate our life experience in new ways. Otherwise, we become vulnerable to confusing a life of starvation as a good life.
A healthy mindset reorganization is essential if we want to create, thrive and build expansive lives. Your hidden relationship with sex, money and earning holds powerful opportunities to learn meaningful new ways to connect with yourself!
Are you lost on how to organize your desires and needs in a meaningful trustworthy way?
Learning to house our needs in safe predictable ways allows us to integrate a new relationship to these desires. There are 4 Humanistic Critical Needs (consistency, variety, significance, love-connection) to meet in healthy ways in order to thrive, belong and contribute to the world.
When our 4 Critical Needs are tangled up and/or our Need for Variety hijacks our other 3 critical needs, we suffer. The need for Variety is the key to helping us organize our desires in new ways. Once we learn to provide a safe space to belong to this critical need for Variety, new clarity is organized.
Untangling your Critical Needs is a profound gift worth your time and attention. If you would like to go deeper in understanding how your needs are hijacking your life or how you could activate them in meaningful ways, please reach out.
Hello, I’m Angela McKinney mindset and recovery coach. I offer many types of programs to help Untangle suffering states.
Untangling Your Life, Room by Room. A new way of living and belonging to your hidden desires, needs and want.